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Lindsay Lime

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The Next Adventure is Ahead [Jun. 4th, 2012|06:14 pm]
Lindsay Lime
I wish I didn't get out of the habit of writing in my Livejournal years ago.

I'm moving to Portland, OR this month.

Last year my main squeeze J moved to New York City. It broke my heart and I was scared it would be too sad to handle. He wanted me to come with, but I know I wouldn't be happy there. You can't move somewhere just because you're in love, especially not somewhere like New York. I feel like we've handled it really well and are in a pretty good place, almost a year later. Life surprises you.

My sidekick Jimmy and his partner Alison moved to Portland in the same week. It was always my intention to do that with them (J too until he got a scholarship to the New School), but it wasn't time for me to leave when they went. Over the next few months, I solidified my decision to make it out there at some point. I didn't think it would take this long, but I'm so excited to finally be making this move.

But scared too. I've never lived that far from my family in Michigan. And I'll have to learn a whole new city. And how will Rascal adjust? I'll be a lot farther from J. Everyone asks me if I have a job lined up out there. Nope.

On the whole, the last three years or so have been stressful and I have slowly become a whiny, mildly depressed, and even kind of anxious person. It all started with getting fired, and the subsequent being unable to find a meaningful job that makes me use my brain and provides anything resembling financial stability, and it's really hard not to feel like a victim. A few times I've decided I'm not going to be like that anymore, I'll try harder, I'll decide to be in a good mood. May has been my most successful month so far, but I still feel like an Eeyore a lot of the time.

June 2012, everything turns around. It's going to be amazing. I reffed my final Midwest Brewhaha in Milwaukee, where I got to see lots of friends, took a few new people under my wing, made out with someone, got to NSO, danced, and met JC's new girlfriend, who I couldn't approve of more. June 6-19 the Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz are bringing me to Germany to teach two officiating clinics. It is literally a dream come true. I'll teach two weekends in a row, and the week in between, Riff took off of work so we can spend time together. I can't even believe it's actually happening. A free, roller derby-related trip to Europe, specifically to my sweetheart's town. Unbelievable. When I get back, I'll pack up my stuff, and drive to Portland. My friend Charlie has a minivan, endless free time, and a desire for a road trip, so he offered to help me move. J is spending the month of July in Portland, so he'll either drive with us, or fly there the same time I arrive. So many good things. Finally.

[User Picture]From: grrrlishgrin
2012-06-05 02:40 am (UTC)
You are so cool, Lindsay! I like that like three years ago when I first knew who you were I told LJ to send me emails when you update, so now every 9 months or so I get a thought baby from you delivered straight to my computer.

I'm so excited for your Germany trip and can't wait for all the Facebook one-liners about how good all the food is and how rude the people and how cute the houses. Or whatever your impressions are going to be. And how dumb that I'll be in Portland when you're in Germany, and then you and Charlie will be in Portland when I'm in Germany!, but at least we have these places all covered for the summer :)

And I know I only get to talk to you for like 10 minutes a year, but I think you're great and every time I see you, I feel a little inspired somehow (ways to grow up withot becoming boring or too well-adjusted or getting panic attacks about being tmi). So I hope (and firmly believe that) the feeling depressed and anxious is purely situational, and will lift once you find more fulfilling everyday arrangements, with the sidekick actually by your side and a new job and annoyingly cool Portlanders all around you.

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[User Picture]From: maxchaos
2012-06-05 07:13 pm (UTC)
Oh man! Congrats on Germany, that's an awesome opportunity! I'm sure I've told you a million times that I miss Oregon every. fucking. day. I think you and Rascal are going to love it out there! Are you still looking for a job? Want me to put the word out to folks that I know? I miss you and I'm glad to hear that good things are happening for you, you deserve it. You are genuinely one of the most incredible people I've met on this planet.
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