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Lindsay Lime

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Sex Faces [Dec. 23rd, 2012|11:08 pm]
Lindsay Lime
If you ever consider trying to making what you think your sex faces probably look like in the mirror: don't. It is way more traumatic than just thinking way too hard about them five minutes after sex.
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The Next Adventure is Ahead [Jun. 4th, 2012|06:14 pm]
Lindsay Lime
I wish I didn't get out of the habit of writing in my Livejournal years ago.

I'm moving to Portland, OR this month.

Last year my main squeeze J moved to New York City. It broke my heart and I was scared it would be too sad to handle. He wanted me to come with, but I know I wouldn't be happy there. You can't move somewhere just because you're in love, especially not somewhere like New York. I feel like we've handled it really well and are in a pretty good place, almost a year later. Life surprises you.

My sidekick Jimmy and his partner Alison moved to Portland in the same week. It was always my intention to do that with them (J too until he got a scholarship to the New School), but it wasn't time for me to leave when they went. Over the next few months, I solidified my decision to make it out there at some point. I didn't think it would take this long, but I'm so excited to finally be making this move.

But scared too. I've never lived that far from my family in Michigan. And I'll have to learn a whole new city. And how will Rascal adjust? I'll be a lot farther from J. Everyone asks me if I have a job lined up out there. Nope.

On the whole, the last three years or so have been stressful and I have slowly become a whiny, mildly depressed, and even kind of anxious person. It all started with getting fired, and the subsequent being unable to find a meaningful job that makes me use my brain and provides anything resembling financial stability, and it's really hard not to feel like a victim. A few times I've decided I'm not going to be like that anymore, I'll try harder, I'll decide to be in a good mood. May has been my most successful month so far, but I still feel like an Eeyore a lot of the time.

June 2012, everything turns around. It's going to be amazing. I reffed my final Midwest Brewhaha in Milwaukee, where I got to see lots of friends, took a few new people under my wing, made out with someone, got to NSO, danced, and met JC's new girlfriend, who I couldn't approve of more. June 6-19 the Stuttgart Valley Rollergirlz are bringing me to Germany to teach two officiating clinics. It is literally a dream come true. I'll teach two weekends in a row, and the week in between, Riff took off of work so we can spend time together. I can't even believe it's actually happening. A free, roller derby-related trip to Europe, specifically to my sweetheart's town. Unbelievable. When I get back, I'll pack up my stuff, and drive to Portland. My friend Charlie has a minivan, endless free time, and a desire for a road trip, so he offered to help me move. J is spending the month of July in Portland, so he'll either drive with us, or fly there the same time I arrive. So many good things. Finally.
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Texts from My Dad [Apr. 28th, 2012|10:42 am]
Lindsay Lime
Dad: What kind of phone charger do you have? I'm guessing mini or micro USB.
Me: Why?
Dad: I want to make you a portable phone charger, so you can have it with you on the go.

(At this point I almost tell him I'm a grown up and I know how often to charge my phone, plus any phone charger is easy enough to put in a backpack...but decided to humor him).

Me: It's some kind of USB, I don't know the difference.
Dad: Is your phone plug a little less than 1/4" wide and rounded down on 2 corners? Or approx the same size, but indented in side on each side?
Me: I think the first one.
Dad: I'm trying to teach myself electronics, it's just a simple but useful device. Next project is a voice changer like we had so much fun with in Ocean City.
Me: fun!
Dad: Lots of possibilities, like flashing LEDs or bright luminescent wire for a bike or costumes. Tron-like. And of course maximum modification for a flashlight.
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Slumber Parties [Nov. 20th, 2011|06:13 pm]
Lindsay Lime
About 1:00 pm.

Me: (poke poke poke) Wake up. Wake up.
Riot: (holds my hand in place, and rolls into little spoon position) Fall asleep. Fall asleeeeeep.

Who could argue with that?
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Texts from My Dad [Oct. 14th, 2011|07:13 pm]
Lindsay Lime
me: Cathy went on a date with a guy named Z. His parents were big Zappa fans. I thought that would amuse you.

Dad: It is amusing, as long as the story is true and it's a Zappa thing, and not named after the twisted deviant Z from Beyond the Valley of the Dolls. Isn't that also the name of the ant hero from that ant movie? ("Ants"?)
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(no subject) [Aug. 6th, 2011|01:40 pm]
Lindsay Lime
Dear Issac,

I came to Michigan for your first birthday party. I realized I can't move back there, I wouldn't be happy for so many reasons. But I got to spend a lot of time with you, and find moments where nothing else in the world existed.

You are a cuddler! When I put you to bed, you would cry and cry until I picked you up, and then you'd fall asleep in my arms almost right away. I love holding you, you curl up right into my chest in the comfiest way. We spent about half the night cuddling on the couch together.

You are a happy baby, even though you are itchy all the time. I can't believe you're not cranky with all that itching. We found some soap and lotion that help, but they haven't gotten rid of the irritation. Anyway, you smile all the time, and you love for everyone to hold you. Your party was so fun because every time someone would come to say hi to you, you'd reach your arms out for them to hold you, and we passed you around and around.

I got to meet Jessica, your mom's best friend. She is great. She seems to know a thing or two about kids and about how to live on your own. Your parents are so young, they're still figuring out how to take care of themselves, as they take good care of you. Jessica is moving in with the three of you and I am really happy about that. I know she'll be a great person for you to have around, and I feel good knowing she's helping take care of you. It makes the distance about 3% easier.

I hope I get to see you again soon.

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Texts From My Dad [Jul. 7th, 2011|10:30 pm]
Lindsay Lime
Hi, guys. All moved in, place is a mess of boxes and bags and I can't find anything (cat food, light bulbs, Taylor Pork Roll from Uncle Matt - shit). Kill m

e before I have to move again. New address: XXXXX University Pk. (nope, no university anywhere around. Hey, give me the stupid street naming job. Here g

oes: Rule One - 4 letters, 5 max for very rare exceptions and crybabies. Rule Two - no patriotic names, i.e. Freedom Highway. Morons!! It's jus

t simplistic and meaningless blue collar feel-good symbolism, while you SUCKERS continue to ignorantly vote for liars and fascists that dismantle our free

doms that you think you're caring about). Street naming czar, keep it simple. Livonia, MI 48512 Crap I'm in Wayne County. Double my insurance rates.
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Half Day Off! [Apr. 18th, 2011|11:51 pm]
Lindsay Lime
[mood |satisfiedsatisfied]
[music |The Royal Tenenbaums Soundtrack]

This morning when I called work to find out which dogs I would be walking in what order, as I always do, they told me they would cover my route today if I wanted. I didn't have to take the day off, but I could if I felt like it. Uhh...OK. So I took it, since I had to work 4-10 at Lush anyway, and it's generally better to NOT work 12 hours than to work 12 hours. I paid the universe back by accomplishing these things:

Two loads of dishes
Folded all the clothes in my dresser, which the cats had turned into nests
Got rid of two pairs of pants and four sweaters in the process
Worked on a T-shirt surgery that I started literally years ago, didn't get it finished but super close!
Biked to meet the person covering my route, to give her my keys
Stopped at the Food Hole for Earth Balance, and stocked up on Luna Bars so I don't have to buy them for a while
Went to the post office to pick up a passport application
Pet a nice dog tied up outside the post office, then fell in love with him and sat on the sidewalk playing and wrestling with him for like 15 minutes
Came home and made lunch and watched "The Office"
Went to Walgreens, bought toilet paper, got my passport photo taken
Ate a snack

And then it was off to Lush. It's so rarely that I fall asleep really pleased with what I got done in a day. I'm super happy I didn't just sit on my computer all day, telling myself I'm getting derby work done. THE END.
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2011|11:03 pm]
Lindsay Lime
Dear Isaac,

You have a lot of names. Izzy, Izzy Bear, Sir Isaac Donut, Gummy Bear, Goblin, Chompy Goblin, and Zack to name a few. I think Izzy is a great nick name and is almost as cute as you. Your grandma thinks Izzy sounds like a girl's name. I told her I know three Izzys and they are all boys (but I didn't tell her they are all derby names). Anyway, I know your parents will raise you with a healthy attitude about gender. Nana likes to call you Zack. I refer to you as "my nephew" as much as humanly possible, because I love remembering that I'm your aunt.

You're an itchy baby. Your doctor says you just have dry skin, but I think it's something else. I often think doctors are full of crap. We'll talk more about that when you get older.

I'm having a hard day and I know if I could hold you I'd be just fine. I look at lots of pictures of you instead, and that will help me feel a little better. I miss you, Izzy.

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(no subject) [Mar. 19th, 2011|10:07 am]
Lindsay Lime
Dear Isaac,

I've always wanted to be your aunt. When I was little, and other kids talked about having children one day, I wanted nieces and nephews. I wanted to be an aunt when I grew up. You didn't come to us in a way that anyone planned, but now I can't imagine if we didn't have you. I even think about moving back to Michigan sometimes, just to be near you. When I hold you, I don't care about anything else in the world. How do you do that to me?

I miss you so much. You have eight teeth right now. Thanks for making me an aunt.

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Us and Them [May. 24th, 2010|01:52 pm]
Lindsay Lime
There's this thing that happens during interleague season, and it's already starting...the skaters' view of refs becomes less Us and Them. When they're reffed by other people, they realize what they like about us, and start spouting exclamations like, "Thank GOD you guys were there!" That part is kind of nice; who doesn't want to feel appreciated? But the other part is weird, where they think of us as just Windy City Rollers, and make disparaging comments about other refs. They just rattle off complaints and comments about reffing in general, and assume that because we're all Rollers, we all see it the same way. They don't realize we're on Team Ref. Yeah, we're part of the league, but (at least to me) we're MORE a part of reffing. I wouldn't come up to any of them and start talking shit about a teammate's ineffective blocking, or how she wastes time finding a legal re-entry point because she doesn't bother to learn the rules about where she can come in. But they don't see it that way. They want us to be defensive of them, and whether or not they like it during home season, they want to be reffed how they're used to. It's especially hard when they're right, of course. Not all refs are awesome. It never feels good to see a ref blow a call, no matter whom they're reffing. But even then, we can't just join the complaining party. I really don't think they understand our need and sometimes-written, sometimes-un-written code to not disparage each other to skaters, ever. We all work so hard for so little respect, on the whole, and refs simply cannot contribute to the attitude that we suck and ruin games.

I wish they'd understand that when they say the reffing was scary or atrocious or fill-in-any-negative-adjective-here, they're talking about me, whether or not I reffed the game.
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Thanks, 30 Rock [May. 19th, 2010|11:44 pm]
Lindsay Lime
Three cheers for hand job jokes on TV turning into real-life hand jobs!
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Latest Sandwich Obsession [Apr. 21st, 2010|02:15 pm]
Lindsay Lime
2 slices bread
1 clove garlic
4 slices Tofurkey (I like the "oven roasted" flavor)
mozzarella Teese
about 1/4 of an avocado
pinch salt

Turn toaster oven to 400 degrees. Crush garlic, and spread over the bread. Arrange Tofurkey on one slice of bread. Slice desired amount of Teese and lay on top of Tofurkey. Place this slice in the toaster oven. Slice up avocado, enough to cover once piece of bread, and set aside. Place second piece of bread in the toaster oven (garlic side up). If you toast them for the same amount of time, the side without Tofurkey on it will get too crispy. After about 4 minutes, or however melty you want your Teese, remove bread from toaster oven, place avocado on top of Teese, salt to taste, and close up the sandwich with your other piece of bread (garlic side down). Eat your sandwich and wonder what other, less awesome sandwiches your friends are probably eating.

When I'm lazy and/or my garlic press is dirty, I use garlic salt. It works, but the real garlic all toasty on the bread is better.
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I Need Your Help Again! [Apr. 4th, 2010|09:43 pm]
Lindsay Lime
[mood |curiouscurious]

What genres would you call the following bands?

Fountains of Wayne
Smoking Popes
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(no subject) [Apr. 4th, 2010|12:14 am]
Lindsay Lime
I keep forgetting to write about my life!

I still work at Lush. It still sucks. It's much better than it was during the holidays, but I'd still rather NOT be selling stuff for a living. Even if it's stuff I like to use. Whatever. The good news is I got offered a job with the Census. The bad news is it's temporary. Even so, getting paid like $18/hour to walk around my neighborhood and ask people who lives in their house sounds pretty sweet to me. That starts later this month and goes for about 8 weeks.

Every time I look for a real job, everything I'm remotely qualified for requires ownership of a car. I really did not anticipate that in Chicago. It blows. I'll keep looking. But I'm getting worried about the amount of time I've been out of my field...

I'm totally butt crazy in love with J! It's ridiculous. I can't believe he's been in my life for years, and now suddenly this connection sparked. But it rules. Everything just fits, and it's easy. I feel sane and balanced and fulfilled. I had forgotten what that's like. Plus he works in a vegan ice cream factory, which is reason enough to date almost anyone.

Also still doing the kissing-friends thing with Charlie. That guy is cute. Ryan and I are on friendly terms, but I haven't seen him much. It's weird to think how sucked into that relationship I had become...with some distance from it, I realize he was totally right. It wasn't working, and it wasn't going to work. I hope we can do the real friends thing with time.

Jimmy is one of my best friends. It feels great. I was so terrified to break up and lose him, but things are way better between us right now than they were for some parts of the dating relationship. We're really close, and I have no idea what I'd do without him. Also, he's J's other girlfriend's other boyfriend. Which is hilarious and awesome! Being each other's confidants is definitely part of what makes it all work.

I'm bogged down with derby work all the time. I've taken on quite a lot right now, all of which I love, but I get stressed about how I never have time to do as great a job as I'd like. It's all worth it though. I've jammer reffed two bouts now. I'm still not awesome at it, but apparently I'm proficient enough. I look forward to getting better. But inside pack reffing is still my one true love. I miss it when I'm not doing it, and I feel at home whenever I am. I doubt that will ever change.

Don Juan went home today! No more foster cat. I was so ready for him to go. I'm going to do a massive room cleaning this week, and get rid of all the pee once and for all. He was so cute when he was cuddly, but I was at the end of my rope with his sleeping on my face and neck, and biting me and my various make out companions with no warning. I'm really happy for Tonya that she was able to find a decent job and move out of her friend's apartment to her own place within 6 months. Makes me feel like I should try a lot harder to get a job I actually want to do. But I'd rather spend all my free time kissing.

There's a Vegan Cupcake Bake Off coming up! I'm thinking pomegranate ginger this time...possibly with some lime involved somewhere. Also I want a tattoo of a lime slice! Maybe with Census money I can do that this summer. Not sure where on my body yet...so far I'm thinking either the ball of my left shoulder, or a pair of them on the front of my hips. I love my dino & cupcake tattoo, but I do wish I saw it more. So the lime has to be not on my back. Suggestions for placement welcome!

Nibbles. Smiles.
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Love Stinks [Feb. 6th, 2010|11:58 am]
Lindsay Lime
Ryan and I broke up. God damn it. I know the relationship was a lot of hard work, but right now all I can think about are the awesome parts that I won't have anymore.

I'm insanely busy for the next 3 days so that will probably be good. Going to Indianapolis today to ref a bout. Sunday I have a work meeting from 8-10, scrimmage from 12-2, a derby meeting from 2:15 to who knows when, a haircut at 5, and ref practice at 7. I probably shouldn't have committed to 2 practices on a day after I ref a bout and before league scrimmage. My feet are going to hate me. Maybe I should reschedule my haircut. I'm starting to panic a little about everything I'm trying to fit in tomorrow. Monday I work all day then have scrimmage. I'm going to be the most tired ever. That's probably a good thing.

Next Saturday I got invited to ref in Milwaukee, and the weekend after that is our next bout. Jimmy says to ref the pain away. Sounds good to me.

I miss Ryan. I've never known anyone like that boy...I wanted to be what he needed.
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Spoiled [Jan. 18th, 2010|03:17 pm]
Lindsay Lime
I am realizing that since joining the roller derby, I have only dated other refs. Until now, I mean. When your sweethearts are not derby refs, you have to, like, make time for them! I'm so used to planning my life around derby and the person/people I'm dating just being there too. I'm not complaining, because I have some majorly bad-ass sweethearts; I'm just going through culture shock. What if I had a real job too?! How do people live like this?
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Keeping Track [Jan. 13th, 2010|01:04 am]
Lindsay Lime
Last January I made resolutions for the first time in a long time. Let's see how that worked out:

Go to Al-Anon meetings I went to one. I didn't love it but wanted to go to more to keep checking it out. It never really happened and I realize on the nights I have free there are just so many other things I want/need to do.
Be more self-sufficient about biking (sub-resolutions: next time I need my tire patched, try to do the whole thing by myself before I ask for help; have friends or West Town bikes teach me a few basic things about maintenance) This is another "kinda." I can definitely patch a tire by myself. I don't know a whole lot else that I would like to know, but I could probably replace my brake cables and that kind of stuff if I needed to.
Take advantage of every opportunity to ref in another city
Become a WFTDA Certified Referee at Level 2
Be more pro-active with Pomegranate Health Collective I had periods of goodness with this, but also a lot of slacking. I'm going to forward it to 2010.
Read more I read a bit, but not as much as I'd like to.
Import the rest of my CDs into my computer, decide which ones I really want to keep, and try to sell the rest online (or otherwise get rid of them) Totally broken hard drive put a wrench in this process; had to start over in the fall.
Learn to cook five things I can only think of one: black bean burgers. I'm forwarding this one too.
Buy less stuff I feel pretty good about this one, and not just because I was broke most of the year.
Pay bills when they come This started off good, but I'm slacking again.
Write letters again, two or more a month TOTAL FAIL.
Keep my bedroom cleaner On and off...lately definitely off.
Figure out two or more things we can change as a household to live more sustainably I switched to cleaning with vinegar and water instead of chemicals, and flush the toilet less. Still want to do better though.
Learn or make up five new cupcake recipes, including a good gluten-free one Now I want to find a good vegan gluten-free one!
Learn to drive a stick shift

If I can afford it:
Try yoga classes
Start paying off my student loans
Get my IL social work license
Get my tattoo(s) Thanks, friends, for the birthday present!!!
Take a cake decorating class
Get new skates

So basically I killed all the derby ones, and most of the rest I did sort of or not at all. And it wasn't exactly a resolution but I feel a lot of growth in dealing with my issues of taking care of people and their problems, and also a lot of growth in my attitude about my partners' other partners. I'm currently dating 3 people in one close group of friends, while maintaining an awesome friendship with my ex whom I was with for 2 years, who is dating 3 people, 1 of whom is in our close group of friends, and it all totally rules. A year or two ago there's no way I could have handled all that.

Also this year I'm going to get a big girl job. I had a nice year fucking around and pretending derby is my job, but I'm definitely sick of being poverty-stricken and also just really ready to be back in my field. I still want to be a social worker when I grow up and it's time to get back into it.

There is a lot going right at the moment, and I'm trying to carry that energy into the sucky stuff like my job search, and make 2010 rule.
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Also, Vegan Marshmallows Were Present [Jan. 3rd, 2010|10:39 am]
Lindsay Lime
[mood |jubilantjubilant]

List of awesome things that happened at Classy Town on New Year's Eve so I never forget them, starting at about 2 pm through about 5 am:

Snoodling and watching Ghostbusters in the make out nook with Charlie
Finding enough ingredients in the cupboard to make cupcakes without having to go to the store
Hopping into bed with Night Shift Alison to help her wake up for the evening, talking and giggling about boys, requesting french fries for dinner
Jay and Charlie going to the store anyway to get stuff to make dinner
My condiment-dependent friends refusing to eat until Jimmy showed up with the Veganaise
Alison and Jay being talked into wearing ridiculous little booty shorts for the evening
Dinner of fake chicken sandwiches with avocado, french fries, and greens (which I ate!)
Cramming 7 people in the make out nook to warm Claire up after her bike ride home from work in 14-degree weather
A new game invented while said 7 people were crammed in the make out nook called Try to Take Off Your Pants - Right Now!
All participants succeeding
BUILDING A FUCKING BAD-ASS FORT that took up the entire upstairs of Classy Town, including a tunnel down the staircase
Ryan and Patrick showing up, and Ryan obeying orders to remove his pants upon arrival, without questions (in the fort!)
Al playing her accordion for us (in the fort!)
Inter-gender wrestling (in the fort!)
Playing Apples to Apples with a twist, where the winner of each round gets kissed by the judge, with consent of course (in the fort!)
People who hadn't eaten making themselves dinner while the rest of us spooned in the fort, joking about both definitions of "sandwich" and how Alison is passionate about each of them
Jimmy and Alison thinking they couldn't fit in the spoon train and heading to the make out nook instead, then debating what would entice all of us to join them more: hand jobs or a baby panda
Engineering a 9-person spoon train so that everyone still at the party was cuddling (in the fort!)
All managing to roll over without destroying the train while still fitting in the fort, to try to make Jay's knees feel better (in the fort!)
Alison enticing a few people to watch David Attenborough videos downstairs
Seeing Charlie in a bath robe
Heading back to Whisker City with my main squeeze Ryan and having some alone time for talking and kissing before passing out at about 7 am, having one of our best talks yet. That kid is so amazing.

Follow up: Jay and I are going into the saucy board game business. 2010 is all set up to rule.
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Every Time I Turn Around [Dec. 17th, 2009|11:18 am]
Lindsay Lime
Text message received at 7:09 am from Ryan D. Dolan:

"U need to ignore this until u get up, but I want to watch a million more eps of Punky Brewster asap. Makes me happy..."

So, you know, pretty much best sweetheart ever. You're jealous. Even if/especially because Saskia says we're "barfable."
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